Saturday, September 05, 2015

The Ugly Truth: If You Cheat On Someone, You Do Not Love That Person

If you cheat on someone, you simply don't love or
respect that person fiercely enough.

If you cheat on someone you're dating, you don't
love that person. I'm sorry, but it's true. If you are
unfaithful, you are not in love.

I don't care if people "make mistakes." I don't give a flying f*ck if we're "all human." Cheating is not a mistake you make when you truly love someone.

Let me just clarify this for a second, in case you missed it the first time: YOU CANNOT CHEAT ON SOMEONE YOU LOVE. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE.

Full disclosure: This article is kind of personal and
very preachy. If you are a person who has cheated
on someone and still believes you love that person,
you're about to have your a*s handed to you.

When I bring up this subject in my social circle, it
quickly dissolves into a heated debate. Allow me to
explain why I am undoubtedly correct when I say
that you cannot cheat on someone you love.

Let's start at the very beginning. I should probably
note that I'm not a saint when it comes to
relationships. I know… shocker! I'm, in fact, a true,
undoubted sinner. I'm a notorious cheater.
I believe that my past urge to cheat comes from
never really wanting to commit to a relationship —
but still selfishly wanting all the benefits of having
I've always valued my independence and ability to
do whatever the f*ck I want, but I also enjoy having
someone to cuddle and go to dinner with.
During my bizarre and dreadfully muddled dating
history, I've been the gluttonous harpy who must
have her cake and eat it too.

My ideal situation was having my boyfriend wait for
me at home while I was off kissing strangers in
sketchy dive bars. In an ideal word, my boyfriend
would have understood my need to be free. But
that doesn't happen in reality.

In reality, I lied. I was "in a relationship" only when
my boyfriend was present. I was a sh*tty girlfriend.

I openly admit this.

On top of all of this, I'm pretty transparent about
my habits and the insatiability that stems from my
deep-seated FOMO. But every guy who comes my
way is positive that he will be the guy to change me.
He will be the guy to make me give up my cheating
ways. I had to wonder what was so wrong with me that I
felt compelled to cheat on my boyfriends. I had to
question why I never really felt guilty.

I came to realize that everything had to do with the
tepid feelings I had for the men I was dating. I
didn't care enough about my relationships to not
risk ruining them. I didn't respect my partners
enough to treat them like they were my partners.

After a lot of contemplation, I've become absolutely
sure that if you love someone and respect
someone enough, you cannot cheat on that person.
You simply cannot. It would kill you.

Let's talk about respect.

It all comes down to respect. If you truly respect
the person you've committed to, you will never be
able to cheat on him or her. You would just not be
capable of doing that to someone you care deeply

For the first time in my crazy, messed-up love life, I
believe that I am truly in love — madly, head-over-
heels kind of love. The difference with this
relationship is that I have a deep and profound
respect for my boyfriend. He treats me beautifully, he challenges me, and he is there for me whenever I need him. He is my best friend. I'm repulsed by the thought of letting another guy touch me. It makes my skin crawl.

The idea of hurting someone I respect so much
breaks my heart. I couldn't. I wouldn't. The only
time I would do something like that would be if I
didn't honor him the way that I do.
If you cheat on your partner, you do not respect
him or her enough not to betray stray. You may as
well leave now. Your infidelity is all the proof you
need that the two of you are not right for each

You can certainly care for your partner, but you
don't care ENOUGH.
I've cared for the men I have cheated on. I have
loved each and every one of them in my own way.
But I didn't love them enough to be faithful.

You can certainly care for — and love — a person
you betray. You can obviously have feelings for this
person. (You two are in a relationship, after all.)
But you don't love him or her enough. If you truly
loved this person with all of your heart, there
would be no one else. Other men or women would
not even exist for you.

It's understandable that you don't want to give this
person up. You love him or her. You want to be
with him or her.

But this is what you need to understand: If you
cannot sacrifice the touch of another person — if
you cannot resist the physical urge to f*ck
someone else in favor of honoring your
relationship — you do not
value that relationship enough.
You can feel that love, but it does not burn brightly
enough. If you cheat on someone, you simply don't
love or respect that person fiercely enough.

Allow me to restate my thesis: YOU CANNOT CHEAT
I should know. I've been there.


AbleMoJah® Nigeria.

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